What Is Going On?
I pulled into the parking lot of my local doctor’s office. I was thinking to myself What is Going On? Where is everyone? Oh, that’s right everyone is at home (where I should be!) practicing social distancing to avoid COVID-19. As I walked the short distance from the most convenient, handicapped parking space, the journey felt like it was miles. My feet seemed to be weighted down almost as if to tell me to run back to the safety of my car.
There was a table in front of the door manned by a very friendly member of the doctor’s staff. I have never seen this before, but as I soon realized there were many things I have never witnessed before that I was going to see on this day. She began asking me a series of questions:
- Have you traveled out of the United States in the last 14 days?
- Do you currently have a fever or lower respiratory symptoms such as a cough or shortness of breath?
- So on and so forth.
Confidently, but also with concern, I answered “No,” to each question. Then I had to sign the paper after she disinfected the pen for my use. She proceeded to confirm my replies by taking my temperature and recording it on the questionnaire. She then offered hand sanitizer to me while she pumped it with her gloved hands. I stood there as she opened the door for me so that I would not have to touch the potentially harmful handle.
I walked into the waiting room to check-in and was greeted by another masked staff member. Oh, I forgot to tell you that I had to have a mask on before I could enter the building and the staff member who checked me in was also masked. As a matter of fact, I could see other staff members walking around since all of the waiting rooms were open for easy access and they were all wearing masks!
My heart began to race, my breathing was heavy and I was pacing the floor. I felt like I was trapped in a dream…a bad dream…a nightmare! I began to panic. My glasses were fogging up and I could barely see…maybe that was a good thing. I just wanted it all to end. I knew I had to calm down, but how?
As I paced around the waiting room all alone, I noticed a bird…no, not a real bird, but a painting of one. I think birds are beautiful. They always bring a source of comfort to me. I began to concentrate on the beauty of the bird and the vibrant color of the painting. I knew I had to focus intently on something other than the fact that I was scared! Why was I so scared?
I’m taking a biologic called Stelara for my Crohn’s disease. It suppresses my immune system which puts me on the list of those thought to be most vulnerable during this Pandemic. Looking around and seeing everyone in masks, being afraid to sit down in the waiting room because of fear for potential germs, combined with the uncertainty of my conditions just became too much for me to handle. It was surreal.
Apparently, scenes like this are going to be part of what we are calling our “New Normal.” I had already weighed the risk versus benefit in my head and decided that I needed to go ahead with this doctor visit, but just seeing everyone with masks on, suddenly it became too real!
I’m glad the Lord calmed me down and I didn’t run out of there crying and screaming like I wanted to do, but it really caused me to pause and consider the magnitude of the way our lives may change forever. It may be a really long time before we can all gather together in a small, crowded waiting room…hmm…maybe that’s a good thing. There are good things that can come out of all of this.
We have a choice in all of this. We can dwell on the fear, and unknown about what is going on or we can trust in the hope of the Lord. I knew this in my heart, but I momentarily let fear overwhelm me.
We need to look for positive things that are possible because of this “break” in our daily routines. A time to slow down to focus and re-focus. A time to look at life from a different angle. A time to realize how quickly our lives can change in such a short time.
One thing that has changed in my life is that I am spending more time with my husband and I am studying my Bible more. All of these are positive things…habits that I intend to continue. So for me, What is Going On is that the Lord is changing my focus. I have had a chance to refocus on how I spend my time. Time is a very precious thing…let’s be wise about how we are going to use ours.
What is Going On with you? How has your life changed for the better? Please share your experiences or suggestions with me in the comments section below.
