IC My New Life

For the last several months, I have been going to a Discipleship Leader training class. We meet at our church every Wednesday night. A couple of weeks ago I was at one of the meetings. I was feeling fine until…I could feel the Fibromyalgia fog take over my body. As I sat in the meeting one of the first symptoms was extreme fatigue. Then I could feel it taking over my mind. All I could think about was getting out of this meeting, going home and going to bed.

It was so disappointing because I really enjoy these meetings. I feel that we all are growing closer to the Lord through this experience. I also feel we are getting to know each other on a more personal level. I look forward to these meetings all week long. But there I was, wanting it to be over as soon as possible.

Another symptom that had peaked during the start of my flare was my Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). I was completely out of my medication for the RLS. I had been having trouble sleeping for a couple of days. If you are not familiar with RLS I will try to describe it. RLS make me feels like I have something running through my veins that needs to come out. I cannot be still. I HAVE to keep moving. It is a terrible feeling!! When I am trying to go to sleep at night is when it usually bothers me the most. I cannot lie still in the bed. I have to get up. I usually do some stretches for about twenty-thirty minutes and then most of the time I can get to sleep. Symptoms usually occur when I have not moved for long periods of time, such as sitting or riding in a car.

As soon as our meeting was over, I went home; ate supper; took a warm bath and went to bed. I slept for thirteen hours. No, not thirteen hours straight because I woke up a couple of times, but sleeping for the most part. When I woke up I felt weak. I ached from my head to my toe. Even my hair was hurting my head. It hurt to touch my head. Cool air from the air conditioner hurt my skin. The breeze from the ceiling fan hurt my skin. My glasses touching me hurt my face.

I felt like I had the flu, but it is worse to me because my skin was so sensitive and hurt so much. If I had the flu I would stay in bed and not go anywhere. However; with a Fibromyalgia flare, I just have to keep going.

1 peter 1:6-7

My daughter, Miranda, called me and wanted me to meet her at a car dealership where she was looking at a new car. I had been resting around the house most of the day, but I went ahead and got ready to go meet her. I wanted to wear a cute, cropped pair of pants. I put them on and took them off immediately. They hurt when they touched my skin. I found a loose, silky pair of pants and a silky shirt. It was the only outfit I could tolerate. I put on my happy face and headed to meet Miranda and her husband, Vince.

When we finished with the car, they took me to lunch. We ate and talked for a while. I enjoyed being with them, but I still felt lousy. Then I went to the computer store where I help out a little and worked for about three hours.

The next day when I saw Vince he asked how I was doing. I said that I was better than yesterday. He said that I looked fine yesterday and I must have been faking it. I said, yes, I just kept going and faked it. I didn’t feel better until Sunday, so I had to fake it for a few days. I really don’t like the word “fake,” so I looked for a better word. I came up with “pseudo.” The dictionary definition is “not actually but having the appearance of.” So when I am in a fibro flare, I am pseudo-feeling good and I appear to be a healthy person.

I know that God sometimes sends affliction and pain to strengthen our faith. So though I do have difficult days. I feel that my faith and trust in the Lord have been growing and for me this makes all the pain and suffering worth it!

This entry was posted on Monday, August 11th, 2014 at 3:54 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.