Double Whammy!
A couple of weeks ago my Saturday started out good. I was enjoying doing a few small cleaning tasks around the house (yes, I DO enjoy cleaning), washing clothes and paying bills. By the afternoon I felt terrible. My bladder was burning, I felt like I had knives in my back and I ached all over my body. I figured I had just overdid that day.
The next day I got up, took a pain pill and went to church. By the end of the service, I felt bad again. I went home and slept for three hours. When I woke up I was willing to take some more pain pills, go eat and buy groceries with Alan since that is our usual routine on Sundays. I didn’t realize that he was very tired and not interested in buying groceries like we normally do. I was relieved, but I knew that I would have to go sooner or later.
By Monday I was convinced I was in an Interstitial Cystitis (IC) flare. I felt awful, but I knew that I needed to buy some groceries. I felt so bad that I didn’t want to go to the grocery store, but I thought it would be the best thing to do.
I began to mentally break down. I felt so alone. I needed help and I didn’t know who to reach out to. I text my daughter and asked her if she was at work and she said yes. I began to cry and feel sorry for myself. At that very moment, I received a text from my Pastor. Since I volunteer at the church office, I do some of the typing for the newsletter, etc. He wanted me to be thinking of the newsletter and what we needed to add to it. I immediately felt better mentally. It was good to know that I was needed. I think when you are in pain all the time, it wears you down mentally. And at some point you break down. It wasn’t just one thing that bothered me, it was a combination of things. I know that at these moments Jesus is by my side, but I’m too desperate to even notice.
Later on that same day I went to the doctor. I cried most of the way there, but I had my radio on to try to cheer me up. I heard a commercial on HIS radio. The female owner of a car dealership told how her granddaughter wakes up every day and says “This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it.” She said this is easy to do when things are going your way, but harder to do when it’s not. I felt like she was talking directly to me. Every moment of every day is a gift from God. I should keep my focus on him and all the good things that He has given me and not focus on the bad things.
I told my doctor all of my symptoms and he wanted to start me on antibiotics just in case it was a bladder infection. I didn’t want to take antibiotics if I didn’t need them so I told him that I just wanted a bladder instillation. I was pretty sure it was an IC flare. I think it is a good idea to make sure you have an infection before you start taking antibiotics. I have heard and read that taking them to often can make you immune to them.
After I get an instillation, I usually go home and lie down. But I knew I needed to go to the grocery store. It was not what I felt like or wanted to do all at, but I went. I happened to see a FedEx driver that delivers to the computer store where I work. (of course I would see someone that I knew) He said what are you doing out of work so early? I said I took a sick day. I know what he was thinking. “You don’t look sick!” But I told him I felt awful and I did! I couldn’t wait to get home and go to bed!!
By Wednesday I was still in a lot of pain. I wanted so badly to go to church that morning and work on the Newsletter and then go to morning Bible study, but I knew I didn’t have enough strength to do all that and go to work and go to Bible study that night. So I rested until time for me to go to work. I went to church that night, but I was still not feeling well.
I decided to call the doctor’s office on Friday to get the results of my culture and they were negative. I didn’t need the antibiotics at all this time. I am convinced it was an IC flare combined with a Fibromyalgia flare…a double whammy.
About ten days later I started feeling better. It was a difficult experience to go through with lots of pain and not being able to enjoy the experiences of life that I usually take for granted, such as going to work, volunteering at the church or going to Bible study. I realized through all of my suffering that even a simple text to someone can make them feel better when they are having a bad time, especially if it is a double whammy day! I also was reminded to be thankful for all the good things I have and do.
I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I know that I should not complain about my pain. My prayers are for you. I’m here for you.
Wayne, I think we go through pain and difficulties to teach us things. We just have to figure out the lesson we are supposed to learn and give God all the glory!