My New Abnormal Life

Nov 12

As we made our way up the mountain on foot, I realized how “abnormal” I am physically. My brother and his wife took off at a rabbit’s pace compared to me at a snail’s pace. I held onto my husband’s arm not only for physical support, but for mental support too. We talked and laughed during most of the walk.

We were all trying to walk up the road that lead to the highest point in Georgia. Usually you can drive up, but it was closed due to the weather. Conditions didn’t seem too bad, but it was sleeting when we made our short hike.

I have been walking everyday so I thought that I would be in better shape. The truth be told Interstitial Cystitis has taken a toll on my body that makes me feel about 30 years older than I am in many ways and this is one of those ways.

At the time, as I saw my older brother and his wife far ahead of me on this short adventure, I didn’t feel sorry for myself. Instead I had a great felling of satisfaction that they were both healthy enough to make it so much faster than me. I was delighted that I was able to even attempt such a feat. It felt great just to be with family, outside and enjoying the beauty around me.

The mourning for my old life did not happen until a few days later when I was having a bad Interstitial Cystitis day. It was Wednesday and I was exhausted from the first two days of working. I didn’t get enough sleep, I volunteered at church and then went to work. I was drained!

That night melancholy took over my thoughts. I played a mental picture in my mind of how I struggled to walk up that mountain that seemed so easy for everyone else. It was depressing that I am thirteen years younger than my brother and that I was the main reason we didn’t make it any further than we did on our journey.

But thank God that only lasted for that one night. Now I look back on that day with immense gratification. I planned a trip to the mountains of Georgia for my whole family. I was looking forward to seeing everyone and spending time together. It is new tradition we started a few years ago.

Since the ride to the mountains was going to take about three hours, my husband thoughtfully suggested that we make the drive the night before and stay at a motel. That way the next morning I would be rested and enjoy the outing more.

My Mama, sister, brother-in-law and brother were going to travel and meet us the next day. My oldest brother and his wife live nearby and were going to meet in the mountain city of Hiawassee Georgia. However; the strangest thing happened. It snowed in my hometown that morning. It doesn’t snow much where I live. It was certainly an unprecedented early-season snowfall. We had more snow in my hometown than we had where we were in the mountains…Who knew??!! My Mama and sister didn’t have any power at their house, so they decided not to make the trip.

I was disappointed and I could tell that my older brother was too. We both had to decide to make the best of the situation. My husband, Alan and I met up my brother and his wife at an antique store. I found exactly what I was looking for to give to my Mama for Christmas…and I asked Alan to pay for it…and he did!…Score!

That mountain climb experience for me was a metaphor for my life now. I have many mountains to climb (and who doesn’t?) They are harder for me to overcome now that I have Interstitial Cystitis and it may take me longer to do things, but I have to keep on trying. As on the mountain trip, my family supports me along the way. My older brother encourages and advises me with my writing. He also can relate to my chronic pain. My sister-in-law is always so thoughtful about asking how I am doing and really seems to care about me. She also helps me with preparing food and cleaning up after a family meal. My husband cooks supper for us and helps around the house with daily chores. All of these things combined with my determination help me to live like a “normal” person in my new abnormal life.

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8 Responses to “My New Abnormal Life”

  1. Katrina Ward says:

    Thank You for sharing this…I too have IC…and it is such a terrible, debilitating disease…but we have to keep moving forward…

    Thank You

  2. Wayne Cameron says:

    I can never comprehend the pain you are in and it really makes me know that your love for God and His love for you helps you get through each day. I am so glad we are best friends so that we can each talk about our health issues. I just say “your will be done Lord”. And, I do not question Him.

  3. Celia says:

    Thank you …you are not alone. i have had if for over 20 years. It is very stressful and life altetering. Bless you May God Luv ya

    • bbbennett65@gmail.com says:

      Celia,
      That you for your support. We are all in this together!
      Hugs and prayers to you!

  4. Tina boalch says:

    This did make me smile …….. So true. I have had IC diagnosed 10 yrs ago but have had it many more years than that. Being misdiagnosed and told its in the mind. Also have ibs vulvodyna lichen sclerosis vistibulitis …….. I think that’s it. !!!!!

    • bbbennett65@gmail.com says:

      So glad I made you smile Tina!

      I’m sorry you suffered so long before a diagnosis.
      I try to do as much as possible to educate others about this disease and others.

      Take care and God Bless!
      Barbara

  5. Tom Lavender says:

    I have been up to Brasstown Bald before. Oh! It was back in the 80’s before I ever knew there was such a thing as interstitial cystitis at all.(which I was diagnosed back in 1997) I would not attempt to do it with all of my medical conditions now.(and retired/disabled)(and used to work at Georgia Southern)(plus Navy war veteran) Besides, I have had 2 neck surgeries and plan to be having a back surgery as well. Oh, yeah!

    • bbbennett65@gmail.com says:

      Tom,
      I’m sorry you have been through so much. I loved the trip to Brasstown Bald. Maybe one day we will make it back when the weather is warmer.
      Thank you for your service to our country.
      Take care & God bless,
      Barbara

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