Something awoke the raging inferno inside my body, also known as my bladder. For a while now, my bladder has been more of a constant, burning and nagging pain, reminding me of who is still in charge, but not screaming the loudest on the pain scale.
She has been more of a persistent reminder that I need to watch what I eat, drink and do. A constant indication of how I am supposed to live my life…centered around her of course! But I have much relief from the nonstop bladder pain that I had at the onset of my diagnosis of Interstitial Cystitis (IC). Praise The Lord!!!
Whatever it was that made her mad, soon became the obsession of my thoughts. What had I done to make her angry? Was it something I ate…maybe that lemon I had in my water?? Maybe lemon irritates my bladder, while it does not bother most, because it is alkaline. Maybe it was those two or three extra yoga stretches that I tried all in one day. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe. Maybe she just wanted to remind me who is the boss! Maybe I’m just losing my mind!!
When she is upset, she also brings along her friend “lower back pain.” This is a different kind of back pain other than my usual chronic back pain. This is a more severe pain. I thought I was in a “small” IC flare…if there is such a thing?! However, despite the pain, I felt pretty good. I didn’t have the body aches and fever this time, so I’m just trying to take it easy as much as possible.
Sitting has always made my bladder pain hurt more, but most of what I do at work, volunteering at the church, teaching Bible study, etc. requires me to sit. So I try to stand and walk as much as possible, but it is not always easy. Trying to figure out what caused her to flare up can be as frustrating and draining as the pain itself. So I attempt to keep my mind focused on other things for the most part. I may never completely understand my bladder, and that is okay!
Dwelling on a problem is not going to make it better. In most cases it just causes stress and stress causes my body more trouble. Instead I am going to trust that The Lord is not punishing me. He is preparing me to trust His plan, not my pain.