Crickets In My Head

Jul 12

I had been preparing all day for our vacation trip. I washed clothes,cleaned out my car, etc. Then I went to work. After work I came home and I was exhausted.

I sat down that evening for a few minutes to check my email in the living room. I read a blog post about the faith and forgiveness that was displayed by those in Charleston after the nine people were killed at the Emanuel AME Church.

My husband came in and turned on the TV. He was watching a concert (not just any concert, it was ACDC) and the music was very loud and distracting. It was a band that I enjoyed listening to when I was younger. I was still trying to read and I wanted to share the blog post that I had read about on Facebook.

I was trying to write a comment to go with the post, but I couldn’t think because the music was so loud. At one point, I was sitting there with my ears covered, trying to think…how sad was that??!!

So I quickly went into my bedroom to finish my thoughts. I sat down to type, but there was a cricket outside the window. Again, I covered my ears to try to begin to think. It seemed to be getting louder and louder like it was in my head!! All I could think about was getting that terrible sound out of my head. I wanted to be able to think!! Just think! I wanted to cry! There was a cricket in my head and I couldn’t think!

cricket

My emotions were intense and I was about to start crying and have a full blown meltdown!! My anxiety level was way beyond normal. I had to concentrate very hard on what I was typing. I had to only think about what I was typing. It made me feel better. That is why I love writing so much. You can lose yourself in the words. The words you type are the thoughts in your head…the crickets in your head…and writing lets you release the crickets and bring peace.

I was able to control my emotions, the cricket stopped and I felt much better after the whole situation was over. I felt serenity. Then I heard that cricket again. He was so loud! Was he in the house? Was he in my head?

Now that I have so many medical issues including Interstitial Cystitis, Fibromyalgia, chronic sciatica, IBS and so on, I have become super sensitive to noise. It is very distracting and I can’t concentrate. I become irritated very easily. I realize that I have this problem, but I’m not quit sure what to do about it. I need to pray that God will help me overcome this issue. I need to pray that God will help me control the crickets in my head.

 

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