B2B
It was the first Sunday of the new year. I was looking forward to going to church. I was excited to be able to worship and fellowship. However, my body was not feeling well. My bladder was burning and hurting. I hit snooze so many times Sunday morning that I lost count. Eventually (and not cheerfully, I must say) I drug myself out of my warm, comfortable bed to go to church. I reassured myself that I would return to the comforts of my bed as soon as possible…that is how I trick myself into getting out of my warm, little nest most days.
As I was getting ready and coming to my senses of the realization that it is a privilege to be able to worship my heavenly father with my church family, the phone rang. It was our Pastor. In a very disappointed voice I heard him say that the morning worship service was canceled because of a water leak in our church basement that affected our heating system.
It was an ironic twist of turns for me. Now I didn’t have the choice or that privilege of worshiping with my church family. But since I didn’t feel well, it was also a relief. I determined that there is more than one way to worship my heavenly Father. I decided to pray, read, and study my Bible from home. In my mind I also pictured myself going back to bed for a nap. I knew I had plenty of time before my sister and I went to a “Celebration of Life” service for a mutual friend.
The nap never happened. We went to the beautiful and moving service for a sweet, lovely lady that lived her life for the Lord. I was thankful to be a part of her life. I am blessed to still be a part of her family’s life. After the service, it was time for me to go lead my Bible Study group…No rest for the weary! I felt good, but I still had that burning and pain in my bladder.
By the time I went to bed that night I knew that I was in an *Interstitial Cystitis (IC) flare. The next morning when I woke up I felt awful. My bladder pain and burning was more intense. My lower back was aching and my stomach was swollen to the extent that I looked and felt like I was about nine months pregnant. I had not slept well the night before and I had a general feeling of malaise.
I took a hot bath in hopes that it would make me feel better and I would be able to go to work. I did feel a little better but I still felt miserable. I resolved that I could work a few hours from home throughout the day when I felt up to it and not go into the office.
I finally took that nap that I should have taken the previous day. But mostly I just stayed in my recliner with my heating pad on my bladder. I did enjoy watching the movie “Notebook” again. Before the ending I had to change the channel…that movie always makes me cry at the end and I didn’t feel like crying.
When I tried to sleep that night I was in so much pain and so uncomfortable that I had a hard time finding a position that was bearable. My pelvic area was so swollen, painful and burning so much that I wanted heat on it, but then even the heat reached a point that was intolerable. I tossed and turned and finally got to sleep.
I was in a flare most of the week. I felt awful. The constant pelvic pain and pressure of an IC flare is horrible. My stomach was so swollen and hurt to even touch it or have anything like clothes touch it. It is a sensitivity that I have never experienced before IC. It was difficult to find clothes comfortable enough to wear to work.
I was so disappointed that I started off my new year by being in a flare but it also humbled me and made me so thankful when I felt better. It brought me B2B…you may be asking what in the world does she mean by B2B!! For me it is: Back to Basics…it is a reminder to be thankful for what I have, what I can do, and to encourage others. So often I get caught up in the busyness of day to day life that forget God’s plan for me. I forget that there is more to life than my small little world and what happens in it. I forget to be a light in this world of darkness.
This year has started off in a difficult way but it has also brought me B2B…and for that I am thankful! My goal for this year and beyond is to be more humble and do less complaining. I want to be humble when it comes to the love for others. And complain less about everything and instead try to offer and look for solutions. Yes, both of those will be difficult challenges, but that is what the Lord has laid on my heart. I want to get B2B!
I would love to see your comments or your plans for the new year below!
*WHAT IS AN IC FLARE?
IC flares are not the same for everyone. Nearly 750 people responded to a 2009 ICA Quick Poll asking them to define an IC flare. Definitions included:
- Period of extreme pain with increased urinary frequency/urgency across several days or weeks (19%).
- Sudden increased intensity of symptoms (12%).
- Dramatic increase in IC symptoms across several hours (7%).
- Worsening of symptoms from baseline (5%).
- Subtle worsening of symptoms (4%).
- Over half (52%) of the IC patients surveyed felt that all of the above definitions defined an IC flare.
– See more at: http://www.ichelp.org/about-ic/symptoms-of-ic/icflares/#sthash.pnFhDqqZ.dpuf
I hav ic symptoms as well as fibromyalgia symptoms. Add to that another painful condition, Endometriosis. I’ve had symptoms most of my life and when they flare I’ve always been made to suck it up. If a young person has these types of symptoms most people do t understand. If it’s not a common run of the mill illness that affects young people it’s considered to be psychological.
I understand what you mean. When you deal with invisible illnesses it can cause many challenges. IC, Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis and other conditions can happen at any stage of life. It sounds like dealing with all these problems for most of your life have made you a stronger person.
We as patients need to continue to help educate our family and friends so hopefully it will be easier on the next person that has to deal with these life changing conditions.